Red Lips ‘n Cow Chips Guide to Exercise: Summer 2018 Edition.

Hi! First, I’m here but been crazy busy since I opened up Hi-Lo Studio. It’s a great kinda crazy! And a very sore one. 🙂

Second, I just couldn’t leave you hangin’ by a thread. So I’m putting this post out there to help you, friendly city friend, learn how to workout with the RLNCC Method.

Step 1: Buy unnecessarily cute ducklings and chicks. Have a beautiful idea of raising these sweet featherballs together with your older hens who will help them search for worms. You now also have pigs, so obviously all you need is a talented spider and you’ve got Charlotte’s Web.

Step 2: Raise cute ducklings with sweet chicks who will replace the hens you lost to the damn pigs.

2a: Separate ducklings from chicks. They’re large and fat and crush your chicks.

Step 3: Buy a kiddie pool.

Step 4: After 2 months, decide the pool isn’t enough water.

Step 5: Convince yourself that the 85 gallon rubber stock tank that you normally use for brooding should be repurposed.

Step 5: Convince the hubby this needs to happen. When he says “Sure, good luck,” get determination to do this alone because he ain’t helping.

Step 6: Dig a giant hole.

Step 7: Check if your rubber tank fits. It doesn’t. Repeat Steps 6 and 7 for a good hour.

Step 8: It fits! Congratulate your sweaty self on a job well done and get that bad boy full of water.

Step 9: Catch the ducks. They never imprinted and therefore hate you, so have fun earning yourself an extra 15 minutes of cardio while your husband laughs his a$$ off watching you try to catch a fat duck with a broken net.

Step 10: Put them in, allow them to feel the beauty of deep, clear well water for once, only to watch them jump out and run back to the algae ridden kiddie pool as soon as you walk away.

Step 11: The most important step. Revel in the fact that you spent 2 hours digging a hole in dry, compacted soil; you literally sweat out 2.5 pounds and those dang entitled ducks didn’t even bother to use their damn pool.

Step 12: Drink a beer. o

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